In a predominantly Catholic country where divorce is not an option and annulments are harder to get than an emergency root canal at midnight, marriage is serious business. So serious that even husbands and wives who clearly shouldnât be together are told to grin and bear it for the sake of their children, their neighbors, and even their pets. Itâs 2010, but when it comes to matters of the heart, most Pinoys still seem to be stuck in the 1950s. Love actually Then again, most couples just stay together on paper because it costs too much to break up legally. Love (or the lack thereof) ceases to become a factor. Itâs more like the dread of red tape and the lack of funds that helps them stick to their âtill death do us part" vowâeven if they want to kill each other. Still, the proposal of the womenâs party list group 1-Ako Babaeng Astig Aasenso (1-ABAA) to place expiration dates on marriage contracts raised a ruckus. The controversial proposition was brought to light at the Daungan ng Balita news forum held at the Danarra Hotel in Quezon City last Thursday, January 7, 2010. The groupâs main advocacy is âto help women become economically empowered by helping them become entrepreneurs giving them better employment, providing sources of livelihood, access to capital, and other ways to make women financially independent." However, among the issues they discussed at the forum, it was the subject of the marriage contract expiration that grabbed the most attention. In particular, 1-ABAA, which represents separated and abandoned women, proposed the enactment of a law that would mandate a 10-year limit on the validity of a marriage contract. Its purpose is âto spare incompatible couples the expense of lengthy legal proceedings before their marriages are annulled." Rules of engagement When you think about it, what the group wants isnât really that outrageous. After all, the marriage license, which the couple obtains before they can get married, has a âbuilt-in" expiration date. Article 20 of the Family Code of the Philippines stipulates that a marriage license is only valid âfor a period of one hundred twenty days from the date of issue" and is deemed automatically canceled if the contracting parties have not made use of it by the end of the mandated period. So itâs really not a stretch to consider incorporating the same sort of scheme. As 1-ABAA president Margie Tajon put it, â[A marriage contract] should be just like a passport or driverâs license. If we are not interested to renew it, then it expires." This, of course, seems like a pragmatic solution to toxic unions. These days, as Tajon pointed out, âThose who canât afford an annulment just suffer forever." Bottom line: 1-ABAA wants to amend the Family Code so that marriage will no longer be treated as a special contract. To date, the marriage contract is defined by the Family Code as "a special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life." When it comes to the legal definition of marriage in the Philippines, you have to pay attention to two crucial words: "special" and "permanent." It is "special" because, unlike other types of contracts, the parties involved cannot stipulate whatever pleases them. The word "permanent" is self-explanatory. As such, a Pinoy marriage is pretty much built to lastâat least in legal terms.
Men and women weigh in on 1-ABAA's proposal âAs long as it doesnât become another crazy process with unjustified fees, this may be a good thing." -Ces Mendoza, engaged âHaving to renew your marriage contract every ten years seems fine. But what if youâre already old? Itâd be too much of a hassle then. Hindi ba parang mawawala yung pagiging âbig thingâ ng pagpapakasal pag ganun kadali na pâwedeng pabayaan na lang? Parang hindi magandang mag-expire yung kasal dahil hindi mo na talaga maaasikaso [ang renewal ng contract] kung malapit nang mamatay." -Daniel Barretto, who wants to be a family man someday âItâs not a bad idea. [But I think] itâs enough that thereâs already an existing procedure for marriages that fail. Marriage is really a big risk." -Kevin Arriola, engaged to be married in 2012 âI think [1-ABAAâs] objective is good but I doubt if [the law could be changed that easily]. It would cause a lot of chaos. Iâm still old-fashioned and naniniwala ako that marriage is a sacred lifelong commitment. Itâs not just a trial and error process." -Tina Zuñiga, Arriolaâs fiancée âThe idealist in me says that such a provision would be counter-productive. Why would people try harder to make things work if they have such an easy âoutâ? The practical side of me says it makes a lot of sense. However, rather than making it easy to dissolve a union, why not find ways to make marriages work properly? And have they made provisions for the children of such dissolved unions? A marriage contract, if it were only based on money or âbusiness' should be able to expire. But a marriage should be more than that. Its currency is in peopleâs lives and the lives of all those around them. Such relationships do not expire. They are meant to be nurtured, not treated as commodities." -Cecille Jabier, married for 21 years For more opinions, check the âThe Marriage Contract to Have an Expiration?" discussion thread at Istorya.net and a a similar thread at the Where Women Click! site. Good buzz Initial reactions to 1-ABAAâs proposal have been âone hundred percent positive." â
âYung mga hindi members [
ng party-list),
gusto maging members. This is the subject theyâve always wanted to voice out," disclosed Tajon. That said, it should be emphasized that the groupâs members and supporters arenât limited to abandoned and separated women. They include men and many happily married women. In fact, 1-ABAAâs secretary-general and legal counsel Eloisa Del Prado Bayani is a happily married lawyer who handles annulment cases. According to Tajon, Bayani supports the proposal even if it means there would be fewer clients for her if the law is amended. Itâs because, Tajon explained, Bayani knows how much trouble it takes to obtain an annulment. Tajon went on to say that their sought-after amendment to the Family Code would also benefit couples who still want to stay together. Perhaps, Tajon is thinking that a married man or woman would make more of an effort to keep their marriage strong if they want their spouse to renew the contract. If you put it that way, then the 1-ABAA proposal seems to be a brilliant idea to prevent couples from taking each other for granted. Indeed, they have not yet met opposition. Not that there won't be any.
Divine intervention It goes without saying that the Catholic Church would be at the forefront of parties opposing the 1-ABAA proposal. "
Bago namin napag-isipan yan,
alam na naming na Church
ang number one [
na mag-po-protesta]," stated Tajon. Though the Philippine Constitution mandates the separation of Church and State, the Churchâs pronouncements still hold sway over many Filipinos. The 1-ABAA proposal, by the way, would not affect Muslim marriages, since theyâre already allowed to divorce and governed by the stipulations of the Islamic religion.
Honeymoon period With the positive reception of its proposal, the 1-ABAA appears to be enjoying the honeymoon phase at the moment. But honeymoons, of course, inevitably end. Asked about the chances of the 1-ABAA proposal, debate teacher and communications scholar Allan Roño told GMANews.TV: âThis has been a topic of debate for many years now. It will take a major revision in the Family Codeâ¦and there has to be some sort of protection clause for the kids." Roño has raised a very good point. While the proposal may be a boon for troubled marriages, it doesnât factor in the children. Aside from, perhaps, not having to put up with their mothers and fathers spats, it remains to be seen whether the kids from the said unions will stand to gain anything from the dissolution of their parentsâ conjugal bond. For now, the 1-ABAA proposal, much like one for marriage, still needs some concrete answers before it can move forward. Because breakups, like emergency root canals, are always painful and complicated any which way you see it. -
FVI, GMANews.TV