On Father's Day: A legacy that matters

As I approach my car, after my morning walk in Phil-am park, I saw two brothers sitting on the tailgate, chatting happily, leaning toward each other. I stopped to watch. "That," I said to myself, "is one of the best legacies of a father." Not money, not a guaranteed future, but a love that helps one brother to love his brother. I felt a bit sorry that my son will not have the chance to experience how it is to be a brother. Having played dual roles in raising him up ( every time my hubby is on board) made me ponder the following things that matter between a father and his children: First: Give time, not money. Not money, not possessions, but your time. It's something that I begged from my husband, that's why he made adjustments in his tenure when on board...It brings tears to my eyes every time I hear my son say: I was not able to harness my skills in sports and other things because I don't have a Dad around to teach me how..

Second: Heal what needs healing. As a daughter I always remember "daddy's old bench" where he fixed whatever was brought to him. "By fixing our toys, you mended our hearts." Whether keeping silent on a problem of a lost love, failure at work or confusion about decisions, we must heal the deeper wound, that awful loneliness which only love can heal. Third: Love each child. Not all children are equally easy to love. But fathers must try. For the scar of being perceived less in the eyes of one whose approval is everything cuts deep throughout life. A daughter still feels the pain of a father who was "angry, mean and hurtful" to her but not to her younger sisters. Fourth: Recognize what is important to the child. Remembering every special occasion and being there during every significant feat in school made me smile during my growing up years. Fifth: Live with integrity. My husband is the extreme opposite of my father in most ways but they have three things in common: they are both very generous, stern disciplinarians and caring souls....My father taught me honesty and to do things right the best way I can... the same virtues my hubby passed on to our son. Sixth: Live freely. I grew up with an emotionally distant father. Not once in my whole life did he tell us he loved us, or hug or kiss us. But I marveled at the way my husband broke that cycle of aloofness. Before leaving for his seminars during his vacation, he would always quietly go to our child's room and wake him up and kiss him.... "Goodbye, I love you son, have a good day." And now during the transition period to our son's freedom day, he wakes up at 3am to prepare his breakfast and pack his lunch, drive him to school and fetch him afterwards, allows him to attend parties after major exams and patiently waits for him till it ends.....He is slowly becoming a cool Dad. Dads will not be remembered for how much money they earned, how far they have risen in their careers, how fervent they were in their opinions, or how dashing they are in their appearance... Your children need more from you, please give them time, healing, love, recognition, integrity and freedom while you still have the chance. Happy Father's Day to all the Wonderful Dads! Choco Pie Kamusta mga Kapuso! Sana’y hindi kayo magsawa sa pagtangkilik sa ating pitak na ito. Habang may mga kababayan tayo sa abroad - pati ang kanilang mga kabiyak, anak, ina, ama o sinuman na kabahagi ng kanilang buhay - na nais magpaabot ng kanilang saloobin mananatili po ang inyong Kwentong Kapuso. Katulad ng dati, hindi kami magsasawa na basahin ang inyong mga kuwento - maigsi man o mahaba. Kahit na ang laman nito ay naglalabas ng sama ng loob, nagbibigay ng inspirasyon, gustong magpayo, magsumbong, magpatawa o kahit nagpapalipas lang ng oras. Kaya hihintayin namin ang inyong mga email na maaari ninyo itong ipadala sa Pinoyabroad@gmanews.tv Sa mga kababayan namin saan mang dako ng mundo, saludo po kami sa inyo. Mabuhay kayo mga masigasig naming Kapuso sa abroad!