The Final Score: The PBA Tempest named Yeng Guiao

“Walang star-star sa akin! Lahat kayo pantay-pantay! Kung ayaw mo dumepensa, umuwi ka na lang!" – Yeng Guiao If Air21 Head Coach Yeng Guiao confronts me after reading this column, Wesley Gonzales is to blame. A day after Air21’s season-opening loss to San Miguel, Gonzales shared one of many priceless quotes from his head coach:

@wesgon15 – worst combination: small heart with small brain - yg One small tweet sparked a huge Twitter discourse between Gonzales and former Red Bull forward Paolo Bugia. Back and forth they went. Like Federer and Nadal, two PBA players walloped favorite Guiao-isms at each other to the delight of their Twitter followers. The exchange was captured in full by GMANews.TV contributor Jaemark Tordecilla on FireQuinito.com. I was this close to sharing a daily Yeng Guiao picker-upper on Twitter myself (like those Paulo Coelho quotes so many people re-tweet). But I chickened out. I think Gonzales can do it (c’mon Wes, if you can convert Mueller ankle tape into a hideous headband, you can do this). Tordecilla can too. Tordecilla probably doesn’t enter the same chapel doors as Guiao on Sundays. I do. If I choose to be funny at Guiao’s expense, I might not make it past this Sunday’s Responsorial Psalm. When I nod at the fiery coach and mouth the words “peace be with you" in Mass, what I’m really saying is, “please don’t bite my head off if I say anything against your team tonight." Although a referee’s nightmare, Guiao is a broadcaster’s dream. Television loves a coach with a spicy sense of humor and a spicier tongue. One of Guiao’s former players (now entered into the GMANews.TV witness protection program) shares the following Guiao-isms: “Kahit mag-shooting ka buong araw pero duwag ka naman sa game, huwag ka na lang mag-shooting! Sayang lang pagod mo!" “Bahala kayo diyan! Hindi ako tatawag ng time-out! Gawan niyo ng paraan yan!" “Ref! Bakit foul? Bulag ka ba?" …and my all-time favorite: “Pumunta ka sa palengke, bumili ka ng puso ng saging, saksak mo sa baga mo!" I sat 4 rows behind the Air21 bench in the Express’ game against Rain or Shine. I was right behind Air21 Team Governor Johan Ramos. After 2010 second overall pick Rabeh Al-Hussaini missed a shot, argued with a referee and failed to go back on defense, Guiao requested an audience with one of his prized rookies by screaming, “Hoy! Halika nga dito!" Ramos instantly turned to me and gave me a look as if to say, “I need to get used to this." So I sat through three quarters waiting for a priceless sound-bite. I have a sinister hunch Guiao knew I was there. I came prepared. If by chance he spotted me after a bungled play by Air21, vented his ire on a columnist on a mission and gave me a stare that could slice cement in half, I would’ve simply nodded back and mouthed these calming words, “Coach, peace be with you." You already know what it really means. -- GMANews.TV