A year after Ampatuan massacre, photographer still missing

Koronadal City -- The massacre in Maguindanao on November 23 last year was doubly devastating for 38-year-old Ma. Reynafe Momay-Castillo. She did not only lose her father — Reynaldo Momay of Tacurong City's Midland Review — but she was deprived of mourning for him properly because his body has not yet been found until now. The government's Scene of the Crime Operatives said Castillo only found her father's dentures and six days after the massacre, the search operation was stopped. Castillo has nowhere to turn to. Still hoping her father was alive Until January this year, Castillo said she was still hoping against hope that somehow, her father had escaped and had survived what is now considered the single worst case of election-related violence in the country's history. The massacre claimed the lives of 57 people, including 32 journalists. In the middle of the interview with GMANews.TV, along the stretch of the highway leading to Isulan in North Cotabato where she lives, Castillo, the mother of two teenage boys paused. "Hindi ba kayo nagsasawa sa kwento ko (Aren't you tired of hearing my story)?" she asked, smiling. Earlier in the day she said the same thing to local journalists, as if her father's tale has now become a myth, something that had to be repeated lest the people forget. News of a killing Momay was part of the convoy of journalists, lawyers, and relatives and supporters of then Buluan town vice mayor and now Maguindanao Gov. Esmael "Toto" Mangudadatu. On November 23, 2009, the convoy was on its way to the provincial capitol in Shariff Aguak to file Mangudadatu's candidacy for governor in the May 10 polls this year. At 61, Reynaldo was the oldest person in the convoy. The convoy never reached its destination. At a crossing called Saniag, it was halted by a group of armed men, allegedly on the order of the province's formidable Ampatuan clan patriarch — Andal Ampatuan Sr. The convoy was then brought to a hilltop in Sitio Masalay, where the killings happened, allegedly led by the patriarch's son Andal Jr. In three open pits, prepared before the killings, the bodies of the victims were hastily dumped. Some of the bodies were not even buried as the killers ran to hide after learning that they had been found out. Kalimudan Festival Castillo recalled that on the day before the massacre, her father hugged her and kissed her on the forehead, something he did not always do. "Niyakap pa niya ako at hinalikan sa noo; hindi niya madalas ginagawa 'yun," Castillo said, recalling that the day before the massacre was a holiday in Sultan Kudarat to celebrate the Kalimudan Festival. While everyone was dancing on the streets, Momay told her only daughter he was leaving the next day for a press conference. She did not know who was hosting the conference. The next day, her 12-year-old son hurried back home to tell her the news. "Sabi niya na-kidnap daw ang mga Mangudadatu, pinugutan raw ng ulo," she recalled. (He said the Mangudadatus were kidnapped and their heads have been chopped off.) Castillo said she took no notice of it because she felt it was nothing new. "Maguindanao ito eh (This is Maguindanao)." She heard the same news from a neighbor. Later, her uncle called her and calmly told her how her father, Momay, had dropped by their house to borrow a motorcycle, to join the convoy of Mangudadatu to Shariff Aguak. Smell of death Castillo recalled that the dead bodies didn't need to be brought to the hospital because they already smelled of death. Together with the relatives of the other victims, Castillo went to morgues in Koronadal City, about two hours away from Maguindanao, where the bodies were brought. "Inisa-isa ko yung mga bag ng katawan. Mabaho na talaga, tapos 'yung iba, wasak na ang mukha. I was actually hoping na hindi ko siya makita (Reynaldo) doon," she explained. (I looked at every victim placed in a body bag. The smell was foul and the others, their faces were smashed. I was actually hoping I wouldn't see [my father] there.) Moving on, a year later A year after, a day before the massacre anniversary, Castillo was not in her hometown in Isulan to celebrate the Kalimudan Festival. She was in Koronadal, purchasing red and white lilies, and Malaysian mums to be used for next's day commemoration of the first death anniversary of the massacre victims. She jumped for joy and kissed on the cheek an old woman who gave her three extra dozens of white lilies for free. "'Di ako pwedeng 'di mag-move on. Ang patay, patay na. Ako, buhay pa. Ang mga anak ko, buhay. Ayokong lumaki silang puno ng galit at matulad sa mga gumawa ng krimen na ito," said Castillo. (I have to move on. The dead are dead. I am still alive. My children are alive. I don't want them to grow up full of anger and become like the people who did this crime.) "Natutunan ko na silang patawarin. Hindi ko na maibabalik ang buhay ng patay. Huwag lang sanang ma-twist ang justice. Bahala na ang korte," she added. (I have learned to forgive them. I cannot bring back the life of the dead. I just hope they wouldn't "twist" justice. The court will take care of this.) Castillo has forgiven but certainly not forgotten. She recalled that she had a female student in her nursing class whose last name was Ampatuan. When Castillo went back to the school where she was teaching, she saw her student processing the papers for her transfer to another school. "Tinanong ko siya, 'bakit lilipat ka pa, graduating ka na? (I asked her why are you transferring to another school? Aren't you graduating?)," Castillo recalled. She recalled that the student said, "Ma'am wala akong choice. Namemeligro na rin ang buhay namin (Ma'am I do not have a choice. Our lives are also in danger.)." Castillo told her student that she understood her predicament. She said the student apologized to her but there was no need to. "Sabi ko sa kanya naiintindihan ko siya, tapos nag-sorry siya. Pero 'di naman niya kailangang mag-sorry. Alam ko namang hindi lahat sila ay masasama," Castillo said. (I told her I understood her and then she apologized. But she did not have to say sorry. I know that not all of them are bad.) Castillo no longer teaches at the Notre Dame of Tacurong College, choosing instead to devote her time to monitoring the progress of the case against some 190 suspects, including the Ampatuans and several other police and militiamen charged in relation to the massacre. A 'fixture' in court hearings "Ang nakakatawa, wala naman kaming naisampang kaso, kasi wala nga 'yung katawan. Pero dati at least twice a week akong pumupunta sa Manila para um-attend ng hearings. Pumupunta talaga ako kahit wala naman akong habol 'dun." (What's funny is that we did not file any case because we could not find the body. However, I used to go twice a week to Manila to attend the hearings. I really went there even though I was not after anything.) She found it funny that journalists who have interviewed her described her as a "fixture" in court hearings, when she doesn't have a legal stake in the issue. What she does not find funny, however, is when some media organizations report about the massacre by saying it claimed the lives of only 57 people. Her father, she maintains, is the 58th victim because his body remains missing to this day. Castillo was very pleased when Maguindanao Governor Esmael Mangudadatu included her father's name in the marker unveiled during the first death anniversary of the victims. Castillo vowed that she would not stop seeking justice for her father and for the other victims of the massacre. She vowed to keep retelling her father's story lest the nation forget the cruelty her father and the other victims suffered. – VVP, GMANews.TV