How to find love and keep it

Some of them met at work, some online, while others started out as friends. They have different love stories to tell but one thing seems the same: there were no imaginary fireworks or spectacular sparks flying when they met. It wasn’t love at first sight, and neither of them knew love was staring them in the face. But they all fell in love, sooner or later, and perhaps, they're all on their way to a happy ever after. When I look at my news feed on Facebook and my timeline on Twitter, I see many people basking in amor while some are feeling bitter. And it made me wonder, how do you find love and keep it? Is there a secret formula for attracting a partner? Is there a proven plan you can follow to make it last? "I've got you" Ten days before Valentine's Day, I received an untitled Facebook message from a guy named Chris who wanted to share a music video he made for his overseas-based fiancé. I don't know how he knew I was working on a Valentine's piece – maybe Cupid whispered in his ear. But I clicked on his video and couldn't help but feel giddy for him and his girl Eloisa. The video was funny and corny. It was simple yet filled with love. I asked him how he found her, and he said he wasn't even looking. They met in his shop and one day, he chanced upon her outside and asked her out. They dated, and they've been together now for more than two years. Although Eloisa flew to Canada last year to work as a nurse, Chris bridges the distance with constant chats and phone calls. "Since noong umalis po siya, wala pong araw na hindi ko po siya kinakamusta at sinasabihan na mahal ko siya," he says. That may sound corny to you, but when you finally fall in love, maybe you'll find yourself saying the same thing too. After hearing Chris' story, I sent a message to other Facebook friends to get their love stories. What I found out confirmed my theory: Love often finds you when you're not looking for it. And while grand gestures can help make it last, love thrives even in the simple things that you do together. If you've been waiting for the love of your life, let these stories inspire you to believe that there is indeed someone out there just for you. And if you've found the one, let these couples remind you how to keep the fire burning and make love last. Nikki and Greg In a relationship Web producer Nikki and TV producer Greg had been friends for three years before they discovered they were meant to be together. a. How did you find love... Nikki: We had some classes together in college and we worked on the same organization. We'd hang out once in a while but we were never close. We've been friends for about three years and then right before he graduated (he's a year ahead of me), he told me that he had a crush on me all along daw (haha) and he asked me out, so we started dating. Love will come when you least expect it. For a while in college, I felt bad that my friends had boyfriends and I didn't. And then when I stopped "looking" and wasn't expecting anything, that's when it happened for me. It's cliché but I've seen this happen even to my other friends. ;D b. ...and how do you keep it? Nikki: We try new things together, like traveling to new places or eating in restaurants we've never tried before. It also helps to be interested in the other's hobbies and activities, so that you have things to talk about. And we try to keep the 'kilig' alive, like leaving silly notes in each other's notebooks, holding hands when we walk and other really juvenile stuff like that, haha. Small gestures help. :) Invest not only in your boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but also in your friendship. I think in a relationship, it's normal that you don't like each other all the time. But as long as you both love and respect each other as friends, your relationship will survive petty fights and other relationship issues. Melay and Manix Engaged You've got to be stone-hearted if you don't feel kilig after reading the love story of Melay and Manix. After a whirlwind love affair, the writer and the cartoonist just knew they were the perfect pair.

a. How did you find love... Melay: The first real conversation we had was actually for work, when I had to interview him for an article. When I was done interviewing him, he asked me what I was reading at the time. I thought it was a really good question, and I answered. Then he asked a lot of other questions. In retrospect, he learned more about me than I did about him, which was bad because I was supposed to write about him, not the other way around. After that we started hanging out a lot, and I thought he was just bored or maybe he didn't have any friends. Then he went out of town for a week. The day he got back (it was my birthday but he didn't know) he asked me, "Okay lang ba sayo kung maging parang tayo?" I didn't know how to react so I just asked him what he meant. In the end I agreed because, cheesy as it sounds, it felt right. Exactly one month later, he said "Melay, tayo na lang." I got confused because as far as I knew we were already together, but it turns out that was his marriage proposal. Haha. Love isn't necessarily about being in a relationship. Sometimes you can find it by doing something you love that makes you happy. When you're happy on your own, if you end up in a relationship, it won't define you; instead it just adds to your happiness. b. ...and how do you keep it? Manix: Lagi-lagi-laging nag-uusap. Corny pakinggan pero totoo, di ba? haha :) Melay: I think we keep it because it's very simple. We don't depend on other things to keep the relationship strong, like going out or doing "special" things. The only constant thing is communicating, whether it's as shallow as about things we spot on the street or as deep as getting married. Of course we also enjoy doing new things, but I think nothing beats a good conversation when you're on the same wavelength, like when you're both corny. Other people may not agree, but you're happy together and that's what matters. Manix: Do a lot of things together! Kahit anupaman yun, as much as possible hehehe :) Melay: Disagree, nicely. Things in common are nice, but they're also easy. It's the differences that really enrich the relationship. Regina and Oneal Married The Force brought Regina and Oneal together as they found love among the stars. The Stormtrooper couple's six-year relationship culminated in a Star Wars-themed wedding on February 20, 2010. a. How did you find love... Oneal and I met because of Star Wars. We were both members of the mailing list for Star Wars Philippines. I was new to the group, and I was chatting up different people. That's how I started talking to Oneal. We decided to meet up, and 5 months later, we got together. It was awesome to find someone who loved Star Wars as much as I did. It was awesome that this person was also very intelligent, responsible, kind and thoughtful. He liked many of the same things I did, and had many of the same opinions. And yet it also helped that we were different in many ways, and so there was much we learned from each other. We got married nearly a year ago. Most people try so hard to find love: speed dating, blind dates, one-night stands. They pounce on every single person they can find, or invent romantic feelings where there are none. Sometimes people do things they wouldn't normally do, wear bizarre clothes and make-up, or do or say preposterous things, just because they think it makes them more attractive. It's ridiculous. Often all that effort just drives love away. Sometimes, trying too hard keeps the feeling from developing naturally. The best advice I can give is to be yourself, and be happy being by yourself. When you are most honest with yourself, and when you are content with who you are, that's usually when you are most attractive and appealing to others. And besides, you would want someone to love you for who you really are, not for some appearance or personality you happened to feign that week. b. ...and how do you keep it? Regina: It really helps that we get along so well, so we don't have many disagreements. When there are decisions to be made, we always talk it over, and explore all the possibilities, and discuss all our options, and talk about how we feel. Sometimes there are things we don't agree on. We try our best to find a middle ground, or else we agree to disagree. There are some interests we don't share: Oneal really likes zombies and comic books; I love mythology and historical novels. So I try to read and watch some of the zombie stories he likes. I read some of his comic books. Oneal tries to read some of my favorite books, like the Chronicles of Narnia. Because we know each other's tastes so well, we know what new things will and won't interest the other person. It also helps that we both love trying new things: food, places, adventures, music. The best part, though, is that we love trying new things together. I think it also helps that we spend some time apart. Oneal likes building costumes and props, and he likes fixing stuff around the house. Sometimes I try to help him, but most of the time it's really better if I leave him alone. Then he surprises me with something new. I like to write and read, and sometimes I need to be alone to process my writing, or I need to be with other people for a change of scene. I think the things that we do and learn when we're apart give us more things to do and talk about when we're together. I think the reason Oneal and I have stayed together so long is because we talk about everything. If you can't talk to your partner, then why are you together? If you feel that you have difficulty communicating, maybe you have trust issues or some insecurity in your relationship. But if you trust each other enough to talk about anything and everything, then that's always a good sign. The day you stop talking to each other is usually the day love dies. Love and Jomar Married Back in the days when Facebook and Twitter were still unheard of, Love and Jomar's budding romance began on Friendster. What started as online chats turned into offline meet-ups and romantic dates. After six months together, Jomar proposed on Valentine's Day 2009 in Bomod-ok Falls in Sagada --- a touching moment immortalized in a viral Youtube video. The two were married during the love month last year and they are expecting their first baby in March 2011. a. How did you find love... I got mine in a very unexpected way. So I guess, everyone will have their own love story. What I can advise is -- NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN LOVE :):):) b. ...and how do you keep it? Love: I guess, we were both ready emotionally and mentally when we decided to get married. Pero kahit sa anong klaseng relasyon hindi puwedeng all throughout the relationship e smooth. So we always keep the three C's in mind: COMMITMENT, COMMUNICATION, COMPROMISE :) But of course, me kasama pa 'yan para mas makulay: GOD'S GRACE, RESPECT AND ROMANCE. 'Yung huli mahirap i-maintain pero kaya naman. A little lambing now and then is the best maintenance, I think, para mabuhay pa rin ang romansa sa isang mag-asawa. I cannot say na 'yung ginagawa naming mag-asawa sa isa't isa to make our marriage work e puwede rin sa iba. I believe na 'yung bawat couple will have their own little formula on how they want their relationship to work. Kanya-kanyang diskarte lang 'yan. Pero I bet, 'YUNG LOVE AND RESPECT AND GOD'S GRACE SHOULD ALWAYS BE WITHIN OR IN BETWEEN A COUPLE TO MAKE THEIRS LAST. Riz and Veronica Married The epitome of a God-centered couple, Riz and Veronica were in a relationship for seven months before they tied the knot. In May 2011, they will have been married for 17 years - proof that you can find love and make it last. a. How did you find love... Veronica: Two years before I met my husband, I already started praying to God to help me know what He wants for me-- whether to enter the religious life, remain as a single person (single blessedness), or get married. I asked God to help me find a good husband if marriage is the vocation He wants for me. I met my husband Riz at the Catholic Mass Media Awards. He was a photographer, I was an editor, and we were covering the event. b. ...and how do you keep it? I believe "praying together" everyday has helped us keep our relationship strong. We start and end our day with a prayer. We also attend Mass together everyday. Pray at all times. Everything will eventually turn out right if we entrust them to God. Be humble. You do not always have to be right or to prove yourself to your spouse. Be selfless. Do things for your spouse out of real love. Think of your spouse's welfare, not just your own. Forgive. No one is perfect. We have all made mistakes, we have all sinned. We should thus learn to forgive other people's faults because we have our own faults too. Learn to appreciate your spouse. I consider my husband as God's gift to me. By appreciating my husband, I know that I am really showing my appreciation to God. - YA, GMA News