Pinays celebrating Mother's Day away from their children

Abu Dhabi, UAE — In general, there are two kinds of Filipino mothers in the United Arab Emirates: those who have their children with them and those who don't, but both will be celebrating Mother's Day on May 8. There are many reasons why some overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) are not with their children. Some choose to leave the Philippines to earn for their families. Some prefer their children to grow up in a Filipino environment. According to Philippine government data, there are about 197,000 OFWs in the UAE in 2009 who remitted some $640,000 to the country. Most of them were Filipinas, comprising 17.9 percent of the total OFW population during that year. Each of them has a unique story to share. Leaving behind an infant son Rebecca Doctor recalls how she left the Philippines to work as a medical research assistant in the UAE University even though her youngest son was only six months old. Doctor said she was already working for a top Philippine hospital when the vice president of a recruitment agency spotted her. “May dinala sa amin nun na Arabo na nagka-chest pain. Ako yung nag-echo sa kanya," Doctor recounted, referring to echocardiogram, an ultrasound of the heart. Since she was pregnant that time, she just shrugged it off. “Tinawagan nila ako three months pagkapanganak ko. May employer na daw. Sabi ko nga, hindi ako puwede kasi may work ako. Tinawagan nila uli ako nung January para i-complete ko na lahat ng requirements. Kaso sabi ko, hindi pa ako pwedeng umalis," Doctor said. She later thought about the offer after a month because her husband, an Electrical Engineering undergraduate, was not earning enough for their three children. “Six months palang nun ang bunso ko nung umalis ako. Since then, hindi na namin napag- usapan yung nangyari. Hindi ko na rin tinanong kung galit siya," Doctor said. Doctor just intended to work overseas for two years. She and her husband agreed that the latter would continue working after Doctor’s job contract. However, things happened that prevented the couple from pursuing their plan. They eventually separated in 1991. Doctor said their eldest child has migrated to Canada eight years ago while her second child has been living with his own family in Qatar. Her youngest child does not want to live in the UAE. "Nung pumunta siya rito, nasabi kaagad niya na kapag nagtrabaho siya, hindi dito. Sabi niya, dun na lang siya sa ate niya," Doctor said. Doctor said she understands because it was her daughter, only eight years old then, who took care of her six-month-old youngest son that she left behind. "Yung pagkukulang ko as a mother to him, napupunan nung panganay kong anak. Kaya parang naging closer siya sa ate niya. Until now, mas nauna pa niyang sabihan ang ate niya kaysa sa akin," Doctor said. Despite what happened to their family, Doctor said she still feels contented. "Kita naman nila na full support ako sa kanila. Hindi ko sila pinabayaan. Single-handedly, I raised them. Single-handedly, I supported them." At this point, however, she said she is thinking of resigning from work if only to be with her children. "Gusto ko na lang yung chance ko na puwede ko pa silang i-enjoy. Yung makasama ko sila. Lalo na yung mga apo ko," Doctor said. Meeting her husband Aracellie Recella relates how she met her husband at the UAE. Recella said she went to the UAE to oversee a project of the Shimizu Philippine Contractors Inc. Recella is a civil engineer and a quantity surveyor with the Batco Equipment & Trading Company. It didn't occur to her that she would meet her husband at the UAE, the man her cousin introduced to her when she was still in the Philippines. “I didn't know na siya din pala ay pupunta dito to support his family. We met in Dubai and became closer," Recella said. Eventually they got married and had a child. As both of them were working, the couple thought it would be difficult to raise a child in the UAE. They decided that they would work overseas and leave their daughter behind with their family in the Philippines. Recella said it was a difficult decision. Although they wanted to be with their child, Recella said "it will take time to save enough money in the Philippines." "My mother is taking good care of our baby. We really spend time to call and text her as often as possible especially every Friday. We talk about how she was doing for the whole day, and, since she's still young, we normally play with her even through chatting," Recella said. Thinking of her family Cecile Jane Mojica, 35, left to help build their house in Maasin, Iloilo. She also wanted to buy a car for her father. “Kung mayaman lang ako, hindi na sana ako mag-aabroad. Kung mayaman lang yung family ko na hindi mo na kailangang i-provide ang mga pangangailangan nila, hindi na ako pupunta," she said. The sixth of nine children, Mojica finished school because her elder sister, an OFW in Hong Kong, helped her. “Yung second na ate ko, iyon yung nakatapos ng midwifery. Yun yung tumulong sa amin na magpa-aral ng college. Nung nasa Hong Kong na siya, siya yung nagsimula nung pundasyon ng bahay, kaya sabi ko, ako na ang magtatapos," Mojica said. After graduating, Mojica applied as a nurse in the Chronic Care Unit of Tawam Hospital in the UAE. When she finally had a house built for her parents and purchased a second-hand car for her father, Mojica married a man she met in the Couples for Christ in Al Ain, Abu Dhabi. She married him in December 2007 in their hometown in Iloilo. They now have two kids whom she plans to send back to the Philippines when it’s time for them to study. They will ask Mojica's elder brother to take care of them. Mojica and her husband would stay in the UAE. “Mas advanced tayo sa Pinas sa education. Uuwi na lang talaga kami unless pupunta kami ng ibang bansa," Mojica said. Even now that they're together in the UAE, Mojica always worries about her children whenever she's at work. "Kung minsan, mag-tetext niyan si Rey [sa akin] na huwag ko ng isipin yung mga bata kasi umiiyak," Mojica said. Nurses in the hospital Mojica's working for are obliged to work on eight-hour shifts. "Hindi naman nangyayari na wala silang kasama. Katabi ko naman silang matulog. Pag-alis ko, Papa na nila ang katabi nila," Mojica said. She's beginning to find motherhood difficult though. "Mahirap palang maging nanay. Lahat ng oras mo, ibibigay mo. Hindi naman siguro magiging madali kahit nasa Pinas kami kasi siyempre, iaasa mo rin siya sa iba," Mojica said. Mojica treasures being with her husband and children at home. They would talk, joke around and just be happy. "Nung una, sabi ko, parang ayaw kong magkapamilya. Mahirap yung responsibilidad. Pero kapag nagkaroon ka na pala ng anak, masaya ka na," Mojica said. Doctor, Recella, and Mojica have different stories but each of them are doing their best as mothers and OFWs. We wish the three of you, and all the mothers around the world, a "Happy Mother's Day!" All the best to you and your families. God bless you. — VVP, GMA News