So little time, so much to do in Pampanga

It wasn't even sunrise, but we were dressed and ready to go. Former Department of Tourism Undersecretary Cynthia Carrion was hopping from one table to the next at the hotel lobby where we were assembled to board the bus to Pampanga, where we would go on the first-ever CHEERS tour, which would take us from Sasmuan to Lubao to Guagua. The tour coincided with the 20th anniversary of Mt. Pinatubo's eruption, and the celebration's theme was the Triumph of the Pampangueno Spirit. It was meant to showcase progress in affected towns ever since the volcano spewed lava and ash in many parts of the province on June 15, 1991 and made lahar part of the vocabulary of Filipinos for years to come.

It's safe to say that spirits were high that morning. It was Friday, June 17, and the Pampanga celebration was in full swing. The former undersecretary was smiling from ear to ear, hanging Philippine flag-themed necklaces around our necks as we sipped freshly-brewed coffee. We were all glad to be out of the office with a day of sightseeing and food-tasting ahead, but little did we know that it was not to be. On the bus, the organizers revealed that this would be the tour's first run, and though we were guests, we would pay with our comments and suggestions on the way home. It seemed fair enough, but a few of us began to wonder why the press, along with several diplomats, had been invited to what appeared to be an experiment. As the bus sped along the expressway, we learned from a short video that CHEERS stood for cuisine, heritage, eco-tourism, educational, river cruise, and specialty. Not exactly parallel terms, but clearly, the one-day tour was meant to be a multi-sensory, informative and engaging experience. Linda Ronstadt's "Blue Bayou" was the tour's theme song, perhaps to put us in a romantic mood, and to ensure that the song would bring back fond memories of the province. The tour guide introduced himself, and then gave a brief description of what was in store. It all sounded splendid, with the famous Pampanga Sisig, chicharon, Razon's Halo-Halo, ancestral homes, old churches, a boat ride down the Pampanga river and mangrove sanctuary, banca and guitar-making, and crabbing and fishing at Piskador included in the itinerary. It was hard to believe we would be able to do all these things in one day, and even harder when we were informed of two additional stops on our tour. First was Sta. Monica in Lubao, to see children performing Filipino songs like Bahay Kubo, and the Philippine National Dragonboat Team showcasing their skills at the Pampanga River. Second was the Philippine Rehabilitation Institute (PRI) in Guagua, where a program commemorating the Mt. Pinatubo eruption would be held. As it turned out, the itinerary was much too ambitious for the one-day trip. But at first, it was promising. We boarded long and low motorized boats to Piskador while the diplomats rode speedboats, which sprayed us with murky water as they left us far behind. Before Pinatubo erupted, the water was so clean and clear, it was safe to drink. But after, the lahar turned the water an unappetizing shade between brown and gray, and formed new islands. This is what our first guide told me at Piskador, where I asked him to kindly repeat what he had said on the boat, where I could only guess what he was saying over the engine's purr, which was more ‘angry cat’ than ‘cuddly kitten.’ This problem continued all day, given that there were two busloads of guests being toured around the province. There were, in fact, at least thirty tour guides coming from the three towns we visited - Lubao, Guagua and Sasmuan. But the guides remained in one group most of the time, talking amongst themselves. Later, one of the guides told us they did not understand what was happening with the tour, either, and were quite frustrated. We also learned that they had only been trained for four days; perhaps this was why some of them had handouts in their pockets, which they gave to us when we said we had not been able to tour the churches. The trip to Piskador was long and rather uneventful save for the short stretch of Palapat trees, water plants whose fruit is used in cooking sour broth and for dipping. Pampanga River also has its own mangrove trees, something our guide kept repeating. "O, ‘di ba, parang nasa Palawan na tayo," he said, which was confusing. Sitting on a low bench for almost two hours can make you feel a bit disoriented, especially when it is nearing lunchtime. Fortunately, when we arrived at Piskador, the food was ready. An entire table was hidden beneath trays of steamed crab, shrimp, pinakbet, and other dishes. "Well, there goes the eat-what-you-bingwit experience," we thought, but we were so hungry we weren't that disappointed. However, we did find it strange to be offered coleslaw from Racks. What was the point of traveling so far to eat something we could easily find at home? When we got back from the river cruise, it was almost four in the afternoon. We had yet to see the 430-year old St. Augustine Cathedral in Lubao, Pampanga's oldest church, as well as the deepest well in Betis, Guagua. We only made it to the parking lot of the cathedral, because we were pressed for time. Instead, we went to St. James the Apostle Church, where the artesian well is found. The church traces its Baroque-inspired architecture to 1754, when it was built. The intricate paintings on the ceiling are stunning, and the church has been called the "Sistine Chapel of the Philippines." Outside the church, there was a display of locally-made guitars, which some of the diplomats bought. There were also snacks for sale, but they were rather expensive, so we bought fried chicken skin and quail eggs from the street food stalls outside. The tour guides saw us and commented that our idea was not bad, and that their street food was very good. It was, like most street food, rather good (but not for the heart). When we returned to the tour group, cups of Razon's halo-halo were being distributed with plastic spoons. Wondering how this could be in line with ecotourism (which supposedly puts the E in CHEERS), I shrugged and had my first taste of the famous dessert. I don't know if it was the stress of not knowing where we would go next, or for how long we were to stay at each spot, but for some reason the halo-halo was not as good as I thought it would be. But it was sweet, creamy and colorful, so I suppose it is everything halo-halo ought to be. As it was with the cathedral, we only passed by the Diosdado Macapagal museum, and weren't able to go inside. At PRI, we arrived just in time to see the former president and now second district representative Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo shedding tears as a man in a wheelchair gave his rendition of the inspirational song "You Raise Me Up." Asked by Yahoo reporter Thea Alberto-Masakayan why she was crying, she said "Because...I remembered." Her fellow Pampangueños also remembered, as shown in various exhibits set up around the PRI gym. There were booths featuring local merchandise like water lily and bamboo products, crafts which have helped Pampanga regain economic strength since 1991, when the ultra-Plinian eruption caused a temporary drop in global temperature, and long-term devastation for the province. By this time, everyone was exhausted despite not having done everything that was planned. To appease us, we were brought to Apag Marangle for dinner, which was part of the itinerary. Some of us were so tired we would have gladly foregone the meal, if only to return to familiar territory where we had control of our time. But the lovely restaurant was not bad as far as reasons for delay go. We were led down a long row of floating huts surrounded by trees and capiz lamps, and we sat down to wait for dinner to arrive. We could have tasted frogs and crickets, as the menu featured, but our hosts probably figured we needed comfort food - so we got to eat pinakbet, crispy pata, chicken, sisig and tilapia. Not too long after the food arrived, we were told we had to be back on the bus in ten minutes. Here was the time management we could have used much earlier, I thought as I rushed to finish eating my vegetables. On the bus ride home, Blue Bayou played on repeat as guests gave their comments about the tour. While "Blue Bayou" is not something I'd like to hear again any time soon, I will be "going back someday," as the song goes, if only to see if the tour has improved. – YA, GMA News